I get into this discussion with people rather often, actually. When people ride in my car to go look at houses we get into the "big why" behind the decision to move. This inevitably leads to more questions and digging deeper until we get to the person's aspirations in life.
Well for many of us (myself included up until recently), we make decisions based on what we see on television, in movies, hear from friends, read in credible newspapers, and especially on social media. The fact that most young kids are wearing earth tone colors because of Kylie Jenner is a huge testament to how impressionable we all are as a whole, even as adults. Back in the day, this may have been John Lennon, Elvis Presley, or Marilyn Monroe. If it's a popular person or idea and that essence can be copied, why not express that you approve of that person and their ideals by adopting them yourself.
But what do you actually want to get out of life? Some people know and some people don't. If you're so enamored with other's opinions or the life of successful people, you may not have an answer that is your own. Do you even have an answer at all? I never had one that was MY OWN, it took a realignment via life coaching to see that I was following someone else's dreams instead of my own.
In my opinion life goals/aspirations boil down to the basics of story-telling. You as an individual are writing your own unique story constantly, and the basics of plot-building turn out to almost exactly fit the categories of what people actually want out of life.
There are 7 types of conflict in a narrative (and the following Daily Writing Tip's article explains them in the shortest amount of words). These correspond greatly to how a person shapes their own life goals, and below are my definitions for how life goals relate to narrative conflicts:
Destiny (Man vs. Fate/God)
This could be a woman or man that wants to take over the family business and elevate it and continue it's legacy by offering new insights and increasing it's reputation. Another life goal could be to rise to "a calling", in becoming a doctor, a religious official, police officer, firefighter, or politician. This kind of life goal is a vision you have for yourself that you automatically feel compelled to act upon. This is the most natural approach to achieving your life goal because you feel like you were born to do it.
Competition (Man vs. Man)
The need to outpace your competition could be a driving factor for you. If you were Lebron James in high school, you probably wanted to prove that you were the best on the court --- and he pretty much accomplished that goal in the NBA once he became a worldwide phenomenon. Beating your competition in your career is also a huge driving factor. If you think 'that idiot got a promotion, so why can't I?' then you're probably competitive in your job and aspire to get a better one. There can also be a desire to have your personal business be better or on the same level as your competition.
Environment (Man vs. Nature)
This is my own personal driver. This kind of life goal involves trying to achieve the best space for yourself and your family. It may even involve the life goal of simply raising a family. You want to make your environment as positive, fun, and unique to your passions as possible. This drives you to achieve more and more. You're less competitive towards other people, and more in-tune with yourself, your family needs, and your personal space. You work to live and don't live to work.
Self-Fulfillment (Man vs. Self)
Having extreme goals and a bucket list typify this kind of life goal. The guy that climbed the El Capitan wall in 'Free Solo' did so because of personal achievement. If he hadn't climbed that wall without a rope, he would've regretted it for the rest of his life. These kinds of goals usually can't be put into words for other people, but they are one of the strongest motivators for achievement.
Discovering the Unknown (Man vs. Supernatural)
Unlocking the mysteries of the world can be a very alluring proposition. If someone found the lost city of Atlantis or found a 2nd Earth somewhere in the galaxy, there would be a massive uproar about that person's achievement! This can also apply to simply being driven by personal unknowns, like travel. The bigger the goal, the more powerful the urge to achieve it becomes.
Technological Achievement (Man vs. Machine)
Robots and hovercrafts come to mind, but this can be any technological achievement. Building a nationwide business is a technological achievement. Google reinvented the way we browse the internet. Apple changed the way we receive our information and made it mobile. Space X plans to put people on Mars! It doesn't always have to be business-related, however, this could be a personal goal to get as wide of a social media following as possible. You may want to improve on something by juuuuuust a little bit, and it would make things 1000 times better for everyone. This life goal can be large or small and either personal or business oriented.
Societal Contribution (Man vs. Society)
By far one of the most ambitious and admirable life goals is to improve upon the lives of those around you. When people see a social inequality (like Martin Luther King), having the goal to change the way people think is a long road, sometimes. If you're truly in the business of contributing to society, your goals are not monetary and breaking even on projects is considered a success as long as you achieved what you set out to do. These life goals tend to be driven by non-profit work, and involve humanitarian acts like helping people in Africa find clean water, or attempting to stamp out a disease like cancer forever!
------------------------------------------------------------
Take these and see what you make of them for yourself. Life goals are EXTREMELY personal, so I don't expect you to leave comments here, just think about them!
Supposedly it was Socrates that said "the unexamined life is not worth living", and I agree. Humans tend to follow trends, and many times just do it out of fear of being left behind rather than for personal taste. In that case, we are like a herd of buffalo --- if our society were to walk off a cliff, we would all follow suit. Life goals change your thinking from the external world to an internal one, and the best achievers follow their own compass and no one else's.
Look at your favorite celebrities, Instagram inspirations, and figureheads --- are they following the ideals of someone else before them, or did they carve their own path and are now being admired for it? Everyone has their influences in life and we all want to feel significant in some way, and -by being the best YOU you can be- you'll make a bigger impact through authenticity and staying true to the things that make you tick.
I'm not an expert on how to make $100 million through goal-setting, but I am an expert on knowing what I want out of life, personally. Hopefully this article helps you figure that out or define it better for yourself in the long run
-Derek Chisholm
720.446.8559
DChisholm@LIVSIR.com
Comments